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Real?
A Sept/2021 challenge, awoke with song on heart at Mable Lake 02/09/21
CHORUS
So what should I do when I see you,
do I smile or tell the truth?
What should I say when I see your eyes,
When pain inside makes me cry?
What should I say when it feels like rain
‘cuz I know those clouds are coming again. ---
What should I do when I’m with you,
do you really wanna hear my truth?
VERSE 1
It took me by surprise that day I was hit,
someone thought the rules weren't worth it.
It stole my dreams, it stole my youth,
of being real and speaking the truth.
Each day I roll over I’m reminded again,
that plaguing thought ‘Am I deservin?’.
Pain became the enemy and my best friend,
a covert union of pretend.
VERSE 2
Looked for hope, in every wrong place,
magnified pain instead of grace
I look and see others worse than me,
so I shut my mouth, because I walk free.
It hurts my husband, it hurts my family,
wish my smile was part of reality
25 years, I joke and jest,
so you wont feel bad, or see my mess.
BRIDGE
Ooh I am being real, I want you to know how I feel
Ooh Listen if you will, in this space You can help me heal
The Story Behind the Song
3 major car accidents in my lifetime is where this song is written from. Its my own personal story of PAIN and how it effects my relationship with self and others. Its that space of struggle with mental, emotional or physical loss and we want to be honest & heard, to be showed kindness by a friend. Not to be 'fixed' just shown compassion. Instead the "world' is only content with this dialogue: "How are you today?" "Oh just 'FINE' thanks for asking." (lie). Yet occasionally we try to speak the truth but while being honest it feels as though their eyes 'glaze over' and we feel we've said 'too much'. Honesty is to painful for others to hear? Maybe they have their own struggles, maybe they are not able to listen? The bridge sorta tells all: 'I want you to know how I feel, because its in this space you can help me heal'.
Please be patient with me. Cheers.